Direct;

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I know how some people are really attracted to this quality, a quality I do not quite possess. Many find people with this characteristic perfectly honest and hence, they do not doubt their opinions and views on certain things, say on fashion, music tastes, preferences...and all sorts. You get the idea. They do not mind offending the other parties so long as they get their message across. What's on their mind, they blurt it out, whether  or not it would hurt others. Some people prefer to have friends like that, friends who are really straight-forward with what they think and feel.

I am not the same, and honestly, I don't want to be that person either. Even to my own best friend, I believe in subtlety, no need to get too direct unless I'm feeling snappy or moody. I treat people like how I like them to treat me, people I like, that is. As for those I can't be bothered with, well, I seriously cannot give a damn to them. Too many things on my plate, you know what I mean? Anyway, as I was saying, I prefer subtlety over straight-forwardness. I can't take it, to be honest. I am very sensitive towards others' opinions. I care. Even something slightly negative about me, I get kinda pissed. Petty, you might say, but I've tried to not care,and failed repeatedly.


Don't get me wrong though. I'm still honest with my opinions, except that before I say something, I would consider the person first. Consider whether or not she could handle the direct truth, or she is, like me, sensitive to criticism. If she is anything like me, I would tell her what's on my mind, only gently. Insert the truth, but give it to him or her one dose at a time. Slowly.


What I dislike most about people who are direct is that they are often...what you call? Tactless? No, I don't think that's the word, but I don't know which word to replace it with. Like say, for example. Someone asked me something I'm really awkward about. I got really uncomfortable and say something that is true, but not entirely. Then, someone in the corner would very loudly question me jokingly. The someone is a good friend, and I really like her, but when I say something that isn't really honest...don't you think I have a reason for it? Jokingly or not, and although I may appear to laugh it off, but really, I am annoyed with it.


There. I've said it. I figure I cannot always bottle it up. So yes. A piece of my mind. But no worries. I'm over it. xx


  

excuses;

It had been the longest time since I last blogged. I kind of miss it, but what's strange is inspiration never seems to hit me nowadays. Last time, when I first started blogging, I had plenty to say, plenty to write. Ideas kept bouncing off me. Now...well, I suppose the only reason could be that i'm reading less now. Drastically less, no kidding. The only reading material I read now are popular blogs (mainly superficial stuff) and..uh, lesson notes. I'd been doing this the past seven months while I'm in college. Having no time is no excuse, I know. I could honestly say I'm not as passionate about reading anymore. As I grow older, I dedicate more of time to...well, anything else other than having a book laying on my lap.


I regret the fact that I've grown more lazy, in the sense that I'd been putting off reading for awhile now. I'm less imaginative now, and I could really sense how it's affecting the way I write and speak too. I don't write as smoothly as before. The condition of having a "writer's block" is ever present. My grammar is as bad as before, if not worse. My command of english is seriously like...there's no more other word more appropriate than: SHIT.


After exams (oh yes, I'm having my trial exams now!), I would go to the library more often. Not to just revise, but to really read all the genre of books I used to love, namely romance and mystery. No excuse for not having enough time, aye?


So...Wish me luck! Hopefully my next post is of better English than this. That's all for now.

ps:This post is really kinda pointless. Pointless rant. FML.

What a girl's heart really says

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