Resolutions;

Resolution of 2012: 

I would drink more water.

I would not procrastinate.

I would exercise more.

I would, I would...

Wait, what resolution? I don't remember having one since I was 15.

I never really made a list of New Year resolution. Not this year, or the last's- not for the longest time. I don't know, it could be because deep down, I realise I wouldn't stick to it anyway, so what's the point, right? Personally, I think it's pretty smart not to have one because towards the end of the year, the things I said I would achieve but didn't, wouldn't seem so glaringly...unaccomplished; and hence, I wouldn't have the need to mull over the unnecessary feelings of dismay. It's quite demoralizing, really, especially when you notice other people have done what they promised themselves to...and you didn't.

Until recently, things start to change in my head. Suddenly, I feel having a complete draft of resolutions means you're setting yourself a goal. A goal which drives you forward, whether or not you reached it is a story of another. At the very least, you improve yourself, even if its short-lived. A goal. Yes, that's it. That's exactly what I'm missing right now in my life. An aim, a direction(whoo! so serious!) to go. It could be anything, from the old boring top-on-everyone's-list: "I'm going to eat healthy this year" to big(!) undertakings such as "I'm going to shed 5kg off this year."

Right now, resolution of the year is: "STUDY HARD, SO HARD YOU FEEL AS IF YOUR SKULL WOULD SPLIT OPEN IN ANY MOMENT. LIKE, SAY FOR INSTANCE, NOW."

So, ok. Less dramatic. But the point is to be more diligent this year, something I'm obviously lacking when it comes to catching on my subjects. Argh. It's so easy to slide down the ladder of achievement, but so very difficult to go back up again. One moment, you're looking over the top of the world with a big wide grin, and the next, you're at the bottom of the ladder, sobbing piteously to yourself. I don't get it, I just don't. How could it be so breezy climbing up back then, and not now anymore? 

I'm not saying I'm in a pathetic state right now. Geez, no. I'm still the same, maybe even better (depending on which "ladder" we're referring to). I gained some, lost some.... That is all.