Sick to my stomach;

Hi. This is me, and I shall introduce myself as the world's , heck I mean the whole universe's biggest nervous wreck. I worry incessantly. Things that matters, and things that doesn't. Obviously everyone would understand why anyone would worry about big things. It's the small tiny trivial matters that freaks me (me and only me) out that would set an avalanche of eye-rolling attacks from the people around me, followed by strings of reasons why i should not care, not even a bit, because it means no shit. Interestingly enough, during those moments, instead of heeding advice, I would cocoon myself from the people around me, and fall into the abyss of self-pity.  Scaring myself out of my pants.

For nothing, of course.

I worry unneccesarily about misfortunes that has yet to happen.  Misfortunes that won't actually in reality happen, and even if they do, the chances are low. I count on those though, the tiny possibilities. I wasn't known to have the best luck around, see. I'm not unlucky, per se. Just...I think I'm jinxed to some extent. Um, no, "jinxed" is a little too harsh. I don't know how to put it. Hold on. Let me get a quote from my friend's blog. Ok, here:

....so that everytime when I'm anticipating something, there's this tiny voice in my head that says talking about it or even being excited will inevitably cause it to not come true. Which is kinda true, what with Murphy's law and all.

For instance, I'm praying super hard for something to not happen, say I'm praying for a sunny day because there's an outdoor event I'm dying to attend. Prayed for days even. The day arrived, and WHAT DO YA KNOW! It rained. Oh wait, sorry, it didn't just rain, it's a freaking storm + blizzard + tornado out there! Who could blame me if I told anybody who'd listen that I'm an agnostic? My prayers were never answered. *roll eyes*


But, I guess I still have a little luck in me. Like, when I expect the worst (and I really do mean the worst), I receive good news! Which brings us to something. This whole post was inspired by an incident few weeks back. Some hotel reservations I made for my upcoming trip to Taiwan. It was my first time booking through agoda.com, and for one whole night I thought I was cheated of RM600 because I didn't get a confirmation email from them when they said they would send it to me within the hour.


Needless to say, I got anxious when I didn't get any thing after two hours. Forums with complaints about it didn't help either. In the end, after calling my mum and a couple of friends, I finally sort of calmed down (reluctantly. because I was SO sure the website was a hoax). But, ta-dah(!), the next morning my email arrived, complete with booking vouchers and all! All that stress and body trembles?

 Once again, for nothing.