Get your heart torn out

“I don’t care if it hurts, I want to have control, I want a perfect body, I want a perfect soul, I want you to notice when I’m not around. You’re so very special. I wish I was special.”       -Radiohead.  

 
 

Bore bore bore

This is possibly my first time posting an entry via an iPhone. Or any phone for that matter. Right now,I'm bored to death. I'm here at the clinic waiting for the doc to be done with his surgery and I've waited for one hour already. Oh wait. I don't think he has even started yet! Thank goodness for iPhone, life-saver. If I had my previous phone I think I would really sleep right here on the couch, and that won't be pretty. Also, that's bad impression on my part. I want my attachment letter to be convincing that I can be a really good medic student in the future or something -- yeah, I'm materialistic like that.



Anw. I think I've turned a few shades...redder and yellow-er. The typical Asian skin after going under the sun the whole day. I went to singapore with love on Monday and we had a blast at Universal Studio! All the rides were working and they were all really quite thrilling. Galactica(is it how it's spelt?) was the best! I'll talk about it more when I have a proper keyboard to type instead of these miniature keypad on the phone. We took quite many photos (I think)and in all of them I look sweaty and... Sweaty. Hew. See if I have time to post them up.


(omg i keep staring at the doc's door.How long is the wait going to be!!!!)


To distract myself, I need to...oh I don't know! Help!

Tomorrow

I'm so ready for tomorrow. Okay, technically its today. Hope the weather be good! Updates soon :)

 PS: May post on my clinical attachment experience. :)

Glam night

Happy Dad's Day;

I know it's almost the end of the day, but Happy Father's Day to all the super dads in the world! Hope you had a good one, and that of course, includes my dad as well. I hope you like the card I made for you! :D As oppose to other times, this is one of the more..artistic ones. ( Haha, sorry I always make cards like an eight-year old). This is a picture of the pre-finish state. I had some final touches done, but by then I'm too lazy to take another photo. So here goes :

To celebrate Father's Day, we went to celebrate @ T.G.I.F. It was quite crowded of course *shakes head*, but it was definitely worth it. For the ambience, the food, and the service. They're just such fun loving people. Psst, its a secret, but I'll let you in on this one: One day, maybe during my semester break, I'll like to work in TGIF for fun ;) That'll be quite an experience won't it?

Who knew my dad would agree to have this photo taken?

"Our fathers toil with hands and heart

To make our lives complete.

They quietly brave the winter cold,

Endure the summer heat.



Our fathers' lives are busy, but

There's always time for us.

They boldly face the ups and downs

And seldom ever fuss.



Our fathers are the greatest dads.

We know you know this, too.

But thank you for the chance to share

Our love for them with you."

                     -David A. Olds

guilty;

The picture seems apt. Cookie Monster here looks guilty. Reflecting exactly on what I am feeling.

Today was unproductive, again. Not that I had anything in mind, but I expected myself to be doing something that is actually beneficial- as oppose to watching TV all day long and taking naps in between. And also playing Smurfs (my most recent obsession) on my iPhone. I haven't done a lot of things I needed to. Like say....oh I don't know, write my testimonial or something? Bah. I just haven't got around doing it and I got a feeling my mentor will be a little annoyed- he'd been asking and asking for it.

Ah, bother! 

I love polyvore!

You see all the sets I've posted recently? I created it all from polyvore.com. Man, I can't say how much I love this website <3

Earth tone

If I could turn back time;

via tumblr.com

Flo's post inspired me to write this entry. In her post today, she talked about her best friends; and for a while, I felt a pang of remorse and bitterness. There are not without reasons, of course. Four of us, we used to be inseparable. Almost everyday we got to see each other, and together, laughter is something that is always heard, happiness is always felt. Yes, there are petty feuds once in a while because there is a distinct difference between us character-wise, but we stuck together. Over the years, we made through the hard and easy times as a team. We shared priceless memories. We study. We play. We celebrate.



Things went weird this year. Thinking back, it really is quite ironic. Initially, I thought our friendship was going to turn distant for sure as I was gonna continue my studies in Singapore. It didn't happen though; so I end up in Taylor's with the three of them. However, that didn't mean everything would remain just the same as you left it. Things changed. We see more of each other's flaws than strength now. Between us, there was discontentment. I don't know who's at fault for not trying hard enough to save our broken friendship, but I admit I am part of the fault. I didn't hold on to it more tightly, and I sometimes feel sorry for that. I'm not saying me and my three good friends fell apart totally. It didn't. We still talk. Only, not as often; and that's wild because we only live one floor apart.



Maybe I just didn't know how to organize my time. I didn't know who to spend more time with. There were so many people around. For some complicated reasons, I sacrificed them. I chose my boyf, my twin and my childhood friend. Absolutely no regrets for choosing the latter, but I regret letting the three good friends go too. I don't know why I did what I did but I didn't think much at that time. I was naive and certain nothing could come between us. I was wrong. Something did come between us. Distance. With each passing day, we drifted further and further apart. I know no one likes to admit it, but I was sure there was some bad-mouthing going on in between. Mocks. Scorns. Negative remarks. Hurt.



The hurt. It's like a wildfire. It may never stop, but we put behind these things when we're really faced-to-faced with each other. Despite us falling apart, we can never be...not friends. There is too much in us. We had too much memories together. Too many reminders from the past- happy ones. On passing each other on the corridor, we still greet each other, we still ask how's each other's day. Sometimes, I go to their rooms, trying to have a light chat, trying to crumble the barrier between us. I have tried, but I think I'm may be too late.



We might never be the best friends we once were, but I like to believe we won't fall apart till the extent of totally ignoring each other either. I believe we won't. I will never let the boyf, the twin and the childhood friend go because they mean the world to me, but do know you guys are significant in my life too. I miss you three sometimes.



ps: you know who you are.

anticipation;

xx, I can't wait any longer ;*

Me want all this