Winter complaints

Hello, Hello sweet earthlings!

I just returned from Taiwan a few days ago, and only today, I got around to edit my photos and also post an entry just because I feel very...bloggy today. Whatever bloggy means- but you get what I mean. I got the drive (LOL, so dramatic) today!


Taiwan is a really nice place, and I would so love to go there again. Maybe next time, I'll go around Spring or Summer. Winter isn't my favourite season of the year for a few very understandable reasons.

Firstly -I absolutely detest wearing bulky coats. Layering clothes after clothes- ughh. Other than the fact that I'll look huge in photos, its' also quite bothersome when it comes to shopping. Can you imagine peeling one top after another every time you wanna try on the new blouse in the boutique? What's worse is you have to do it really fast because our tour guide gave us a really short span of time to shop and there's about....rows and rows of shops. You have no idea how I wished I could duplicate myself like an amoeba during then. I end up not trying most of my new clothes. Just bought them right away since they're all free-sizes. So much to shop,  so little time.

Secondly, Shopping is fun yes, but not really so when every direction you see are winter coats, fluffy ear muffs, leather gloves and an impossibly large array of woolen scarves from neons to pastels. They're so pretty! It really sucks because I'm from a tropical country and these stuffs would never be worn when its a steaming 40 degree Celsius out here! Ok, so I exaggerated, but it feels  like it is that hot. Like a frigging desert sometimes. *Shakes head*  note: Having said that, I still managed to buy a whole luggage worth of new clothes.


Thirdly, Holiday season = crowd. Practically sardined (!), especially when we were in the National Palace Museum. Not the ideal place to be at when there's so many people. The smell of body odor and strong cologne wasn't very pleasant either.

Uh, that's about all the dislikes for winter! Haha, funny, i was supposed to tell you about my trip but ended up with the rantings. I suppose I'll do it it the next post! By the way, despite all the winter-complaints, I'm pretty happy with the overall trip. Will update somemore with photos and tell you briefly the places I went to (this includes a STRIP CLUB *gasps!*). 

Toodles ;)

it's break time

haunted-dinosaur

 I watched two DVDs today, and it is really weird because I never (literally, never) watched movies on my laptop before. Not since the start of college in Jan. Snipets of them, yes maybe that. But 2 complete movies in one go? That was a bit too much. but i think I might have a new hobby.

This might be hard to believe, but I'm not a fan of movies. I'm one who could listen to gazillion hours of music but can't sit through half an hour of a movie (Unless I'm in the cinema, but only because I paid for it. and because I usually have popcorns.and because I can't possibly leave my companions in the middle of a show- whether or not it's a good one.). Movies really eats away my time. Yes, that's exactly what I felt yesterday and the many many days/months before. Not anymore! For now.

I missed out on so many movies this year, but I'm gonna make it up for it this holiday. I started with "The Social Network" and "No Strings Attached" today. Maybe... "The Zookeeper" or "Paul" tomorrow. Or maybe some cartoons! Oh, how I miss cartoons! "Megamind" should be a good option. Hmm. 

Anyway, I'm quite hyped up about my trip to Taiwan in a few days time. Can't wait! The thought of streets filled with steaming hot delicious food during chilly weather is just so...Ah, mouth-watering really! I'm going with my family and HuanYi this time, double the fun! Let's hope this trip is better than the last in Korea! :) I'll take as many pictures as I can, considering that now I have a really good camera now. No more poor-quality photos hihi :D

Love, me.

updates: I got my driving licence! So excited to drive around town in my parents' car!




   

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I'm so obssessed with tumblr I'm quite positive I'll never be here again! Visit me there instead! thelovelybelle.tumblr.com

not myself today;

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Sometimes I wonder why the hell I went all the trouble to create and find time to customise this blog when I hardly ever post anything anymore.

What I ever do now everyday is look at other people's blogs. Especially my little sister's. There is some sort of familarity whenever I go there. Some weird alien sense of comfort. I don't know why. One of the greatest mysteries in life is the random things, you see! She writes so much like I did before. The quirkiness and the creativity. I wish I could write like how I used to when I was younger. Really! It's ironic how I had a better grasp of my language back then. I mean, we improve as we grow older don't we? I seem to be stalling, if not falling back. Oh my. This is bad isn't it.

But.

People always say, " When one window closes, another opens." (I don't remember exactly, but is it door or window...? Oh, bother!). Down to the alley is my "passion" to write! - Lol, this is quite contradicting since I'm writing right now, but anyway- Yeah! I have a new hobby. A permanent one, for sure. Tumblr-ing! Ohmegourd, it's the best thing in the world. It's so very easy. I don't even need to work my mind doing it. I can spend so many hours just on Tumblr looking at the pretty pictures of people, fashion, sceneries, and DESSERTS, oh yes good drippin' delicious ice-cream!  Mmmm!


Abrupt stop.
Off to tumblr.com
this is sho sad.

xxx

Friendship;

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"As a young woman, I was really affected by books & movies which all seemed to tell me that girl/girl friendships were at their strongest within a pack.

The Babysitters Club books (oh my!) & episodes of Sex & The City — two things that influenced me heavily when I was growing up — reinforced this message, & as I moved from my teens into my early twenties, I kept waiting for the gaggle of best female friends that never materialised. I wanted to do “brunch with the girls” every Sunday, I wanted to have a group of women I did everything with — & it never happened. It made me think there was something wrong with me.

But as I got older, I realised that this gaggle of close-knit girlfriends never transpired because I don’t really like being in group situations! (When I do, this weird maternal instinct takes over, where I get obsessed with making sure everyone else is having a good time.) I relish spending time with just one person at a time; it’s when I’m at my best. What’s more, I think all that time wishing I had those kinds of friendships blinded me to what I do have.

I never expected to have such a brilliant, diverse & weird group of friends. They range from self-professed “spiritual players” to burlesque beauties; from hyper-creative photographers to sweet Japanese girls; from multi-talented business juggling geniuses to good-natured 50 year old Scots. I love them all. Every single one of them has such a unique view of the world & it’s unbelievably wonderful just to be able to sit down & talk with them.

I’m blessed that even three years after we ended our relationship, Si & I are still great friends, & that I trust him implicitly. I know I can always count on him to help me out. On the opposite end of the spectrum, I’ve only known Rachel Rabbit White for a few months, but even so, our decadent get-togethers — complete with sangria & crêpes filled with chocolate — have become a delightful ritual. I’m even more fortunate to have married my best friend, Mike, a man who makes me laugh, enjoys my nuttiness & has an enormous heart.

The truth is that these people don’t appear in your life all at once, or even when you think you need them. The friendships that mean the most to me are ones I have cultivated over many years & several continents, & there have been plenty of missteps along the way! I’ve had friendships explode, & I’ve watched them fizzle out to nothing.

Ultimately, you never really know who’s going to stick around, & who’s going to slink out of your life. All you can do is show your appreciation for the ones who are in your orbit, & send out your love to the people who aren’t with you any longer. As much as it hurts, sometimes friendships don’t last forever… But do they all need to? You can learn just as much from someone you’ve known a month as someone you’ve known for over a decade.

My point is this: if you’re feeling unloved, you are so much more adored than you know. You’re adored by people from your past, people in your present, & people you have yet to meet. You are loved. I promise. "

Gala Darling

Things I Love Thursday: Good People

3/4 part of a promised post!

(written on 10/9 Saturday, posted today 13/9 Tuesday)

Hello princes and little fairies! A post on my cruise trip, as promised!

Last week, my parents brought us three on a cruise trip, on Star Cruise. Everyone knows this cruise. It was very famous. 5 or more years back, that is. Honestly though, it was very well-maintained. You wouldn't know it was an old cruise if I had kept my mouth shut. Their interior, good as new! Anw, prior to Malaysia's National Day, it was super crowded on deck. Practically sardined. Lucky I'm so stick-thin and all that. Haha! Aw c'mon,take a chill pill, little jokes(!), we're still in the midst of a holiday, no matter how close we are to the end of it!

interior of the cruise.

I love the "soapy foam" look of the sea. I can imagine mermaids waving at me from down there!

Now, who do I look like more? You can make the comparisons ;)

We had to take these little boats to Redang Island :) Big cruises will harm the coral beds

I present to you....REDANG ISLAND! YOU.CANNOT.IMAGINE.THE.BEAUTY.OF.THE.SIGHT. Totally caught me off-guard! Who knows a little heaven like this exists in Malaysia?

 Brother posing for the camera.

Sisterly love

A lot of hammocks around the beach! I can take a book and read there the entire day. Enjoy the breeze and a little little bit of the sun. Thank god for coconut trees, presence of shadows! If not for it, I won't look too pretty all dark and brown :D

I adore this photo of my mum and sister. It's somehow sweet in an unexplainable way.

The trio! <3

Me dad and sissy!

PS: I really love to elaborate, but I''m getting quite tired. I'd just put short captions whenever I can. :<

Cruise holiday

On that, coming right up! As soon as I have wifi around here that is. Eesh. I could have posted it sooner but the modem at home went a bit cranky and its not responding to me whenever i want to use it! Bitch. Anyways! Photos and all on the next post! Promise. Whether or not to be broken, we'll see. Hihi ;)

Direct;

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I know how some people are really attracted to this quality, a quality I do not quite possess. Many find people with this characteristic perfectly honest and hence, they do not doubt their opinions and views on certain things, say on fashion, music tastes, preferences...and all sorts. You get the idea. They do not mind offending the other parties so long as they get their message across. What's on their mind, they blurt it out, whether  or not it would hurt others. Some people prefer to have friends like that, friends who are really straight-forward with what they think and feel.

I am not the same, and honestly, I don't want to be that person either. Even to my own best friend, I believe in subtlety, no need to get too direct unless I'm feeling snappy or moody. I treat people like how I like them to treat me, people I like, that is. As for those I can't be bothered with, well, I seriously cannot give a damn to them. Too many things on my plate, you know what I mean? Anyway, as I was saying, I prefer subtlety over straight-forwardness. I can't take it, to be honest. I am very sensitive towards others' opinions. I care. Even something slightly negative about me, I get kinda pissed. Petty, you might say, but I've tried to not care,and failed repeatedly.


Don't get me wrong though. I'm still honest with my opinions, except that before I say something, I would consider the person first. Consider whether or not she could handle the direct truth, or she is, like me, sensitive to criticism. If she is anything like me, I would tell her what's on my mind, only gently. Insert the truth, but give it to him or her one dose at a time. Slowly.


What I dislike most about people who are direct is that they are often...what you call? Tactless? No, I don't think that's the word, but I don't know which word to replace it with. Like say, for example. Someone asked me something I'm really awkward about. I got really uncomfortable and say something that is true, but not entirely. Then, someone in the corner would very loudly question me jokingly. The someone is a good friend, and I really like her, but when I say something that isn't really honest...don't you think I have a reason for it? Jokingly or not, and although I may appear to laugh it off, but really, I am annoyed with it.


There. I've said it. I figure I cannot always bottle it up. So yes. A piece of my mind. But no worries. I'm over it. xx


  

excuses;

It had been the longest time since I last blogged. I kind of miss it, but what's strange is inspiration never seems to hit me nowadays. Last time, when I first started blogging, I had plenty to say, plenty to write. Ideas kept bouncing off me. Now...well, I suppose the only reason could be that i'm reading less now. Drastically less, no kidding. The only reading material I read now are popular blogs (mainly superficial stuff) and..uh, lesson notes. I'd been doing this the past seven months while I'm in college. Having no time is no excuse, I know. I could honestly say I'm not as passionate about reading anymore. As I grow older, I dedicate more of time to...well, anything else other than having a book laying on my lap.


I regret the fact that I've grown more lazy, in the sense that I'd been putting off reading for awhile now. I'm less imaginative now, and I could really sense how it's affecting the way I write and speak too. I don't write as smoothly as before. The condition of having a "writer's block" is ever present. My grammar is as bad as before, if not worse. My command of english is seriously like...there's no more other word more appropriate than: SHIT.


After exams (oh yes, I'm having my trial exams now!), I would go to the library more often. Not to just revise, but to really read all the genre of books I used to love, namely romance and mystery. No excuse for not having enough time, aye?


So...Wish me luck! Hopefully my next post is of better English than this. That's all for now.

ps:This post is really kinda pointless. Pointless rant. FML.

What a girl's heart really says

 http://leilockheart.tumblr.com/

Serious

'How do you think your writing style is like?"
'What do you mean?'
'As in, do you write happy things or emo stuff more?"
'Oh, I never write emo stuff! It's all happy and all'


I think I need to correct myself. I almost never write happy things anymore. Happy, meaning like how I used to write. I was more adventurous with my vocabulary and you can really sense what kind of person I used to be like. I was bubbly, dare I say it. My posts were all light, very much unlike my recent entries. Even when my post IS about something I love, the seriousness is there. A tinge of it, if not a lot. I like to think getting serious is a one of the pros of growing up. People tend to trust you more when you're not bouncing around with your witty remarks. People can rely on you more, I think? I like being relied on on certain things. I can't help but think I'm important in some ways. Having the impression that you're quite as important gives me a boost in confidence. Like a major boost.


Problem is... I'm not getting it. My confidence, very much like dust, gets swept away easily. A hurtful remark, an example. Or when I don't do well. I like to think I'm persistent, but I dont believe that anymore. Times like this, I just cannot trust myself, trust that I've gotten so far. Everything's so fucking confusing. Can I do it, or...can i not?

insecurities;

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Few days ago, I'd been pitted with self-doubts and self-consciousness. There are days like that aren't there? For each and everyone of us. Days when you feel small and inferior. Days when you wish you were someone else- some one prettier, smarter, someone witty and confident. You question your self-worth and insecurities warp you in like a blackhole in the universe. During days like that, everyone else is better than you and oh, how you just wish things were different. You wish you were better.


During days like that, depression sets in. Everything seems to be on the down side of the scale. You feel fat and frumpy. In class, you feel pathetic because you can't do the exercises given by your teachers when everyone else seemed to breeze through the whole thing. You'd obviously worked harder than people but you don't see the results you wanted. You think life's unfair. From there, you lose your usual bounce of enthusiasm and life. You're upset. You never told anyone why though. Your mood swings now more rapid, you snap at your friends more often because you think they don't understand. Then, you got guilt-ridden. You wish to take back what you said.Things never go back though. You can't undone it. So you try to make it up by putting a mask.


But, in your heart, you sincerely think no one understands. You don't want to feel vulnerable and weak either. Besides, if you did reveal your insecurities, most people would just shrug and tell you "Shit happens". So, really, what's the point of telling anyone? Also, you know all this feelings are stupid. Deep down, you know you can't be all that pathetic, can you? But you choose to not listen to the small voice in your head. You feel sorry for yourself.


Then you snap out of it after a few days. It took you awhile but you're relieved that you're no longer shackled by self-criticism. Not entirely free from the monster in you, of course. It's lurking around the corner. You feel it would rear its ugly head soon, but till then....all is well.

  
  

how true:

back in time;

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These few days had been warm. Not weather-wise of course (until today, the previous days had been insanely hot. Pointing out that the weather is warm is a total understatement.) Emotionally-wise, rather. You know? The warm fuzzy feeling you get when you gather around with all your friends and talk about the good ol' days where everyone did something embarrassing and silly. Nothing ever goes forgotten. Memories stick.


We had a great dinner with my lovelies @ T.G.I.F. two days back. Many people were there; old mateys from high school. Feng was gonna leave soon (left today), and we thought why not have dinner together before he leaves right? For good times sake. and so we gathered. and we talked. Really talked about the times in sec. school and all the memories came blasting back. It was so funny, the ridiculous things we wished we didn't do but did anyway. Jokes were shared and exchanged; laughter never ceased around the table. Victor was an absolute joker lol. so was Jov. and Feng. and Sim. and omg, so many others la. We should do this more often.


Actually it wasn't just at TGIF. I had dinner with some of the bunch just now, and again it was all the talk about our days in SMSO. The teachers! Always the teachers. I miss some of them. I learnt once: "Life's most valuable lessons are taught by the worst teachers." I don't think that rings true all the time...but of course it has some truth in it. If you and I were ever classmates before, you would know who were the "worst teachers". Haha. Well, "worst" not as in the kind of teachers that suck in teaching. Rather, it refers to those that are terrific in their teachings, but had, in between, left us with quite...painful memories. Ah. Those are the teachers we never fail to bring up during one of the "Good ol' Days" babble session.


I wouldn't mind to travel back in time sometimes. To visit the memories. :) It had been five years, all of us together.

 

030711

I just don't know what to say most of the time. Right now...it's not like suddenly inspiration hit me right in my face. No. It's just that I have nothing better to do. It's either this or stare at the guys play their dota or whatever. I think I choose the former cuz I don't understand the alien language theyre using. All the short terms they're using is just out of the world. It's quite amusing tho. Seeing the guys shout at each other. 'fuck you' is sth you hear every nano second. Lol.


I was,2 seconds ago, contemplating whether or not i should turn in. But then yongke says he feels like eating later and my eyes brightened! Forget about sleeping poof. I miss eating roti canai, roti telur too! Although there are 'mamak' stalls in almost every corner you turn, I just never got around to eating them. Guess its cuz of the smell wafting in the air. I especially hate it after I showered. The smell just had to cling to your body, and that smell will stick to your bed. Today, I give it an exception. Smell or not. Cuz it's not my mattress!! Hahahah

Zi ming won't know I said that cuz he never reads my blog! Haha! Okay la just kidding.but i sincerely doubt he'll mind. He's such a sweet boy ;)))

Xx

Get your heart torn out

“I don’t care if it hurts, I want to have control, I want a perfect body, I want a perfect soul, I want you to notice when I’m not around. You’re so very special. I wish I was special.”       -Radiohead.  

 
 

Bore bore bore

This is possibly my first time posting an entry via an iPhone. Or any phone for that matter. Right now,I'm bored to death. I'm here at the clinic waiting for the doc to be done with his surgery and I've waited for one hour already. Oh wait. I don't think he has even started yet! Thank goodness for iPhone, life-saver. If I had my previous phone I think I would really sleep right here on the couch, and that won't be pretty. Also, that's bad impression on my part. I want my attachment letter to be convincing that I can be a really good medic student in the future or something -- yeah, I'm materialistic like that.



Anw. I think I've turned a few shades...redder and yellow-er. The typical Asian skin after going under the sun the whole day. I went to singapore with love on Monday and we had a blast at Universal Studio! All the rides were working and they were all really quite thrilling. Galactica(is it how it's spelt?) was the best! I'll talk about it more when I have a proper keyboard to type instead of these miniature keypad on the phone. We took quite many photos (I think)and in all of them I look sweaty and... Sweaty. Hew. See if I have time to post them up.


(omg i keep staring at the doc's door.How long is the wait going to be!!!!)


To distract myself, I need to...oh I don't know! Help!

Tomorrow

I'm so ready for tomorrow. Okay, technically its today. Hope the weather be good! Updates soon :)

 PS: May post on my clinical attachment experience. :)

Glam night

Happy Dad's Day;

I know it's almost the end of the day, but Happy Father's Day to all the super dads in the world! Hope you had a good one, and that of course, includes my dad as well. I hope you like the card I made for you! :D As oppose to other times, this is one of the more..artistic ones. ( Haha, sorry I always make cards like an eight-year old). This is a picture of the pre-finish state. I had some final touches done, but by then I'm too lazy to take another photo. So here goes :

To celebrate Father's Day, we went to celebrate @ T.G.I.F. It was quite crowded of course *shakes head*, but it was definitely worth it. For the ambience, the food, and the service. They're just such fun loving people. Psst, its a secret, but I'll let you in on this one: One day, maybe during my semester break, I'll like to work in TGIF for fun ;) That'll be quite an experience won't it?

Who knew my dad would agree to have this photo taken?

"Our fathers toil with hands and heart

To make our lives complete.

They quietly brave the winter cold,

Endure the summer heat.



Our fathers' lives are busy, but

There's always time for us.

They boldly face the ups and downs

And seldom ever fuss.



Our fathers are the greatest dads.

We know you know this, too.

But thank you for the chance to share

Our love for them with you."

                     -David A. Olds

guilty;

The picture seems apt. Cookie Monster here looks guilty. Reflecting exactly on what I am feeling.

Today was unproductive, again. Not that I had anything in mind, but I expected myself to be doing something that is actually beneficial- as oppose to watching TV all day long and taking naps in between. And also playing Smurfs (my most recent obsession) on my iPhone. I haven't done a lot of things I needed to. Like say....oh I don't know, write my testimonial or something? Bah. I just haven't got around doing it and I got a feeling my mentor will be a little annoyed- he'd been asking and asking for it.

Ah, bother!